[She wipes away the last of her tears, sniffling, finally calmed down completely.]

It's not that I don't believe in myself most of the time. [She frowns.] But with this, last time... I tried so hard to stop myself, I fought against every thought I could about hurting someone.

It didn't matter what I actually wanted, that's not what happened.

So isn't it... better to ask for help when I know it may happen all over again?