[Maul's steady gaze falters as he looks off to the side instead of directly at the Fluid. He's not sure why he even asked that. But he had to know. To fully take responsibility for his actions will mean owning up to all that he has put Obi-Wan through, to know he'd deliberately caused the man pain and suffering because the true target he desired would forever be out of his reach.]
[ obi-wan is hyper aware of his flaws. he sees them under his nails. he breathes them with every loss, every failure. he knows, he knows he's not good enough. that he'll never be good enough.
but he must try, must keep trying and know that even his best efforts fail him. for do or do not, there is no try. there is no luck. just obi-wan and the force between them. ]
You try so hard to be the perfect Jedi according to the ideals of your order. It's a bit refreshing to know you're still human.
[Not that he hadn't witnessed it already. When he'd killed both Qui-Gon and Satine, he'd felt the anger from Obi-Wan. Though the Jedi hadn't given into it, Maul knew there would have been no stopping him if he'd given into it and fallen to the Dark Side.]
[ but obi-wan knows he enables that perception. he can't fully deny that. it affords some emotional security, distance. letting someone into his heart, the deep crevasses, that is terrifying. ]
I am not a Jedi simply because I was taken into the Order and taught its ways. I am a Jedi because I try, every time with every step.
The problem with most ideals is that no one can ever live up to them. Not even you, the one who represents the best of your order.
[It's not so much a compliment from Maul as it is a statement of fact. He's fought many Jedi, watched them from the shadows when he was young. Much of what Sidious told him about their corrupt, arrogant order had been proven correct. But still...]
If more Jedi were like you, perhaps it would have been harder for my master to put his plan into effect.
It's not important to embody them as much as it is to put them into action. For whatever people think of the Jedi, we do what it takes to help others. That is all we ever do. There are Jedi who fail and Jedi who fall.
[Maul can't deny that point. For all that is wrong with the Jedi, at least they have tried to do good. That's more than he can personally say he's ever done.]
Yes. The difference that shall always be between Sith and Jedi. You do what is selfless while I do what is selfish.
Something that people keep trying to impress upon me. I think I might finally have begun to understand why.
[He's well aware most people learn this when they're about five years old, but at the same age he was being horribly abused by Sidious and just trying to survive the horrendous training he was being put through, so at least he does have a relatively good excuse for being emotionally stunted.]
[Occasionally, it takes a good beating for the lesson to stick, but mostly it just takes time, repetition, and a lot of patience with those trying to teach Maul how to be better.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Then that makes you no more flawed then most.
no subject
[ obi-wan is hyper aware of his flaws. he sees them under his nails. he breathes them with every loss, every failure. he knows, he knows he's not good enough. that he'll never be good enough.
but he must try, must keep trying and know that even his best efforts fail him. for do or do not, there is no try. there is no luck. just obi-wan and the force between them. ]
no subject
[Maul's usual angry tone softens just a little.]
You try so hard to be the perfect Jedi according to the ideals of your order. It's a bit refreshing to know you're still human.
[Not that he hadn't witnessed it already. When he'd killed both Qui-Gon and Satine, he'd felt the anger from Obi-Wan. Though the Jedi hadn't given into it, Maul knew there would have been no stopping him if he'd given into it and fallen to the Dark Side.]
no subject
[ but obi-wan knows he enables that perception. he can't fully deny that. it affords some emotional security, distance. letting someone into his heart, the deep crevasses, that is terrifying. ]
I am not a Jedi simply because I was taken into the Order and taught its ways. I am a Jedi because I try, every time with every step.
no subject
[It's not so much a compliment from Maul as it is a statement of fact. He's fought many Jedi, watched them from the shadows when he was young. Much of what Sidious told him about their corrupt, arrogant order had been proven correct. But still...]
If more Jedi were like you, perhaps it would have been harder for my master to put his plan into effect.
no subject
It's not important to embody them as much as it is to put them into action. For whatever people think of the Jedi, we do what it takes to help others. That is all we ever do. There are Jedi who fail and Jedi who fall.
But the Jedi still try.
no subject
Yes. The difference that shall always be between Sith and Jedi. You do what is selfless while I do what is selfish.
no subject
There's nothing inherently wrong with selfishness. We all deserve and long for more.
It's when that impulse stamps on the lives of others that cannot abide.
no subject
[He's well aware most people learn this when they're about five years old, but at the same age he was being horribly abused by Sidious and just trying to survive the horrendous training he was being put through, so at least he does have a relatively good excuse for being emotionally stunted.]
no subject
It takes time to learn.
no subject
[Occasionally, it takes a good beating for the lesson to stick, but mostly it just takes time, repetition, and a lot of patience with those trying to teach Maul how to be better.]
no subject
Eventually.